Will Work for $500,000

SO I'M WATCHING the boob tube and the only news that's news these days (ie: our money troubles) was coverage of a story about limiting the pay of CEOs of companies which get bailout money. Some guy in an Armani suit is asking "where are you going to find the quality of people you need for $500,000"? Something snapped deep inside me. The answer is clear: pretty much anywhere. In round numbers, the finance sector of our annual GDP has been around six trillion dollars in recent years. Wall street executives have extracted over six hundred billion per annum of this. Over ten percent. In exchange for that these "geniuses" have run our financial system aground.

I'll do it for less! For $500,000/year I'll bet I do a better job than they have or return every penny! How can you beat that? I have a Bachelor's degree in Engineering and a Master's in Physics so I think I've got an adequate grip on the math. Or at least better than the guys who thought it was a good idea to borrow fifty billion bucks every morning based on CDOs and SIVs as collateral. Certainly better than the idiots who would lend it. I'm not asking for any bonus, so I won't have an incentive to inflate stock values on order to pay for that third Ferrari (actually, I don't even have one). My expense account overhead won't be nearly as high since I don't golf. Cancel that helicopter to whisk the CEO to the country club at 3PM every Friday. Thrift will be the watchword, we won't be spending a grand on wastepaper baskets or shower curtains. Hell, I'll even do without a private bathroom. I'll use the same one the janitors do.

So, If you own a bank and you're looking for a way to cut costs, just leave a comment and I'll get right back to you.